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Case studies

 

(1) A woman in her mid 70’s came to me to see if I could help with pain: she feared eating and drinking anything because going to the bathroom caused a great deal of discomfort. She also had generalised depression and a loss of energy. She told me about her life, one of great hardship. She had undergone many operations including for prolapsed uterus and bladder and was on a long list of medications to manage pain and other conditions.

 

In the first session, with gentle visceral contact and massage, I felt as if her organs were being pushed to one side. At first I thought this was due to the abdominal operations, however it became clear that as she relaxed, there was a palpable shift. She got up from the couch and disappeared into the bathroom. I waited for her with her daughter in law who was present during the session. She was gone for quite some time before she returned and announced with a broad smile that she ‘had had no pain.’

 

This was welcome news, but the relief did not last more than a few weeks. When she returned for a further session, I felt the same pressure in her abdomen, as though something was pushing from her left side. The more we investigated possibilities the clearer it became there was no physical reason to explain the pressure. I was, however, sensing she was in a process of deep grieving. When I asked about her deceased husband, it seemed clear that she had accepted his death and let go. And her son, who had died young? “Oh no,” she said. “That was such a long time ago.” I asked her to tell me more, at which point she mentioned that he had Down Syndrome. She held her left arm out and said, “I carried him on my hip everywhere.”

 

When I learned that he’d died at age fourteen, it was suddenly clear to me what the pressure was. A fourteen-year-old would have been a considerable weight for her to carry. I could see by her expression that she understood she was still carrying this young boy. We worked together from that point to release the burden of her grief, one she still carried on her left hip where that boy had spent so much of his short life.

 

Some months later her daughter in law wrote me to say that Hannah (not her real name) was no longer taking any pain medication as she had no need. She was eating and drinking normally without fear that there would be a price to pay when she next went to the toilet. She had also thrown away all her dark clothes and was wearing bright colours, enjoying spending time with her granddaughter and others.

 

(2) A ten-year-old boy who had difficulty making friends, anger control issues and was continually getting in trouble at school came to see me with both his parents. He always seemed to be getting into fights and the parents were at a loss as to what to do. They mentioned that he would not tolerate being touched on his chest, which meant during games he would suddenly become enraged.

 

Working very delicately with the boy and with his consent, I was able eventually to touch his chest and I had a strong feeling of trauma; his neck being squeezed. It did not seem that he had suffered any kind of attack, but I asked his parents whether he’d had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck at birth. (On later enquiry at the hospital, the records indicated during delivery the boy had indeed needed to have the umbilical cord unwound from his neck).

 

Using play and other trust building interactions, the boy’s sense of safety grew and he began to tolerate my touch until it no longer seemed to bother him. He became very still. At the end of the session he went over to his mother and climbed into her lap. She was surprised because he had not done this for years.

 

There was no need for a follow up session as the boy turned a corner, gaining confidence and losing the fear that was locked in from the early birth experience of being strangled. He was no longer triggered when touched on his upper chest or throat area.

 

(3) A couple in their early 30’s came to me for relationship counselling. They wanted to find a closer, more harmonious relationship with each other.

 

They had difficulty with intimacy and continually found themselves arguing or feeling hurt and misunderstood by the other. They both said they seemed to have a recurring pattern in their intimate relationships: when things were going well, they would sabotage this in one way or another, falling back into a pattern of blame.

 

I also had a strong sense that both felt a kind of emptiness within themselves and were seeking for the other partner to heal their wound.

 

The wife described having acute anxiety with a fear of countless things; a kind of dread always running in the background. She wondered if all her fears were connected with the pain she felt of simply being in a body. She admitted she was not fully able to inhabit her body as it was “too painful”.

 

The husband described a gnawing tension in his belly he believed he’d had his entire life. His past relationships were chaotic and he felt he was repeating this in his current relationship.

 

During a discussion the husband mentioned he had a twin sister who died at birth. When I suggested this loss could be the source of the pain in his belly, his face lit up. ‘Yes, that makes sense! I’m always searching, but I can’t find her,’ he said.

 

Could this be the source of his self-sabotaging behaviour?

 

In an exercise together, the wife lay on the couch while her husband watched me work with her. She fell into a deep relaxation. Her husband approached and with guidance and permission placed his hand on her navel. He began to cry, as if for the deep loss of his sister. His wife opened her eyes. I could sense a profound compassion flowing towards her husband. There was a stillness and intimacy between them, neither holding back or trying to ‘help’ the other, simply being together. It was a sacred moment, as if they both found what they had lost at birth. The hole inside each of them individually that continually sought to be fulfilled from an outside source had gone.

 

Much later they communicated that they were still together and much happier, even if their relationship was sometimes volatile. They could work through tensions because they were able to be present with what was actually happening rather than being caught in a net of old trauma.

 

Related articles:

What Is Really Going On?

Body Resonance and the Client Therapist Relationship

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